Learning to Fly
I need a new job. I’ve lost my motivation and there’s not a day where I don’t feel sleepy and bored out of my mind I feel like I could die out of it. Coffee doesn’t work for me anymore – it has betrayed me so menacingly, I despise the very sight of a sachet of Kapal Api mix.
Some days I feel like calling in sick, and I have to fight this urge a lot and hope that the day will be better and something great will happen. Nothing challenges me anymore, and if someone asks me about my salary as my motivation, I won’t even dignify that question with an answer.
Maybe I’m being too hard on myself but I have targets to achieve and it scares the freaking bejesus out of me knowing that two years later I’ll be twenty-five, and five years later I’ll be thirty. The year has gone by so quickly it feels like it was only yesterday that I stepped foot in Bandara Soekarno Hatta upon my returning from
Some days I feel like the most optimistic person in the world and other days I feel like hiding myself under the duvet and sleep my life off. I wonder whether this is a normal type of fear and I have a feeling it isn’t, because knowing that I don’t even know myself, it doesn’t guarantee that others will.
God knows what keeps me going and hanging on.
Music, maybe. Sunshine. Evening breeze. Beautifully made bed.
I hope I have the strength to carry on – knowing that my life has a purpose and I’m about to find out. No one is going to help me but myself. I will build my dream with the only two hands I have and the sparks of fire in my heart that keeps on fighting to light up, despite the many blows it receive.
This too, shall pass.
2 comments
Hey Therry, I like the way you write. Great stuff!
hi. You have changed the blog. It’s nice