Therrysays.com

First of all, Adam and Eve weren’t really called Adam and Eve. In fact, they could barely speak words let alone creating names for themselves. They communicate with sign languages, and they looked ugly as, with mad clumpy hair, big nostrils and uneven teeth, burnt skin and calloused palms and feet. They pretty much a beta version of the early Homo sapiens - more into the ape’s side rather than the Caravaggio’s paintings.

They weren’t friends with the animals either - they ate the freaking animals and they sure as hell ran the heck away from any animals resembling those of elephants or lions that we see today, instead of caressing them and playing around with them in manner of Buddhist monks raising Tiger cubs. The lived in a place where it battered all the freaking weathers - from cold to hot to cold again - and so they had really tanned, leathery skin and quite athletic bodies in that aspect. They were somewhat naked in some weathers but when it got cold they would put more than just tree leaves over their private parts to avoid catching pneumonia or whatever they called it back then.

Adam couldn’t really give a shit about his missing rib - he cared more about steak ribs from four legged mammals. Eve weren’t really into apples at all, regardless how red and juicy it might look hanging down from the so-called forbidden tree - she cared more about crushing the sodding snake to death so she could skin it alive and have it for dinner. Fruit just didn’t really worth it since it gave less energy and not keeping them as warm as eating the fat of the animals.

Most importantly, Adam and Eve had friends too - they weren’t the only couple in the world otherwise they would really freak out since no other creatures were as alike as them two. And so you see, there were many, many Adams and Eves, not just two. Their children would meet and mate and then the whole reproductive process stretched far ahead until it brought us up to this point.

Makes more sense to me.

Now, the reason why I constructed this version was because I had a mild argument with my grandpa about the demeaning facts about women according to the Bible; Eve tempting Adam, Sarah suggested Abraham to impregnate a younger chick so he could have a descendant (what woman in the right mind would suggest her husband to sleep with another woman?), king Solomon having bloody thousands of harems collected from different parts of the world, Maria Magdalena a sexed up prostitute who somehow appeared every now and then in the most important parts of Jesus’ life - the list goes on. My grandpa wouldn’t hear about my own opinions and I simply wasn’t satisfied with how things were - no matter what the Holy book said.

So I decided to set the record straight from the main root - where it all began. And where would God be in that story? God was actually in everywhere, and most importantly, God was actually in their hearts.

Now, doesn’t that sound a lot better?

This entry was posted Sunday, January 22nd, 2006 at 1:24 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.