Lazy Sunday

Sounds like a typical jazz compilation music album I’ve seen so much lately at the record store, but I simply can’t find a better suited title for this yet.

Though there had been so many lazy Sundays before, this Sunday has made its way to the best Sunday so far. What lies ahead, I cannot tell. After going through some rough couple of weeks, I managed to get out of it alive.

It feels ages since that day, and I kept thinking about what Carrie from SATC said when Miranda asked her the question that any woman who’d gone through it would be asked, in which she said,” Any day now.”

I couldn’t understand it before but now I get it.

Like a distant, black memories in life that I wished could’ve been erased, I still thought of it now and then, and when I compare it to the state of condition I’m in right now, I feel so relieved.

The day after that, I went back to work as usual, but I remembered that I felt different. I felt that I was given a second chance to fix my life again, as if God was saying to me, wagging his forefinger and all, “Don’t screw it all up again now.”

And I thought this kind of Sunday, this kind of lazying around, not doing anything particular whatsoever, would never come again. I thought my life was over. I thought I was doomed from freedom and dreams, of having the chances to seize some of what’s still left in my life’s to-do list.

So I breathe in to this Sunday, I enjoy this last day of the week that is really intended for resting, the day in which I can finally be able to rest and relax again. I feel like I had just been rescued from a tragic accident and now I’m recuperating from the trauma.

Sitting in the living room, my laptop in front of me, with so many books to read and CDs to listen to, some barking every now and then from our three-months old puppy who looks absolutely dazzling now and naughty as hell (If I might add), the warm, breezy afternoon wind seeping from the back garden, and most of it all, the person who’ve stayed with me through it all from the lowest to the highest sitting right beside me – I feel nothing else could have replaced this day.

And I thank God for this day to be given back to me.

Foolish And Stupid

They thought of us
Ever since that night we spent a few precious hours
Where we were ourselves for the entire time we were together
Where we didn’t have to pretend, nor act to please each other
Or trying to make each other feel comfortable
Where we felt like we had known each other for ages
And that night we were just like old acquaintances who just had a chance to reunite

Ever since
I was never the same
My world was turned upside down
Jack Johnson sang, “Is this how it’s supposed to be?”
Well I didn’t know any other way it should be
All I knew was that I felt alive
More alive than I had ever been in a very long time

Like I was able to breathe again
Like I was able to be myself again
Like I was living for something bigger than life itself
Living each day as if it was my last
Breathing each breath as if the oxygen was not free of charge
Walking each steps as if walking on air

I knew of miracles
And for those who didn’t believe in them
I say, “You should, because it happened to me.”
One miracle that changed my life
One miracle that started off the others
And it all happened because we dared

To be thought foolish and stupid
To be thought different and strange
To be thought helplessly romantic and shameless

And I no longer cared
What others thought of me
What others thought of us
None of it really matters

All I know is that you’re made for me and I for you
And that’s enough for me to know
That I finally find my place in this world
That I finally belong
That I finally find my path
And how beautiful it is from here

The bigger picture
The final destination
Because you’re here. With me. Forever.

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