r:strt

I filed in my resignation letter today, which is a one-month notice before I leave for good.
Taking this big decision has taken a lot of time for me to think it through, not to mention a great deal of patience and a great amount of courage.

God knows how many people out there are dying to get jobs, whereas I am leaving mine.

And I’ve been through this phase before – the only difference was that this time around, I was placed amongst people who were academically smart and emotionally stupid, with zero common sense. And it was through them that I really learnt about management of human resource – as in, what not to do, because as cliché as it sounds, if an organization lacks this one vital thing, then a whole bunch of cum-laude graduates don’t mean shite.

I was surprised to know that some of my workmates actually graduated with excellent ranks, mostly because they were the most incredibly ineffective people at work; it was a mystery how they got accepted in the first place. It was like they had brains, but they couldn’t use them or forgot how to use them. These kinds of people created the most inconvenient systems and forced everybody to abide, resulting in unnecessary and frequent mistakes being made and timelines being delayed.

Add boosted-up leftover ego that were remnants of college heydays when they were looked up as the smart ones on top of it and you will get absolutely perfect candidates for complete assholes.

And that pretty much describes the people I work with. To make matters worse, some of these people were given power to lead, which ended up in disastrous emotional chaos amongst those working for them. If they had clever subordinates, they considered this as a threat to their positions because then it would make them look stupid, so they had to do some office politicking which involved a lot of sucking up and kissing-asses, therefore pinning down those who had better ideas and solutions, making sure these people were stayed put and remained unheard.

Guess which category I fell into? Too right.

My intention was pure – I wanted to give the best for the company I worked for. Unfortunately, there were those who felt the need to disagree. And this is the reason why so many companies all over the world are having problems – it’s nothing too technical, no. It’s because so many academically smart people were hired to do the jobs that demand emotionally smart thinking – the one aspect these people lack of.

That’s why I decided to leave – I had enough time being an employee, and it’s definitely the defining moment of me taking a bigger step and responsibility. Yes, it’s scary. Yes, it won’t be easy. But there is nothing like doing the job you love and loving the job you do.

Like my man said – it’s not about the money, because it would be the lowest form of motivation for anyone who wanted to work.

If you no longer enjoy what you’re doing and questions like, “Is this worth it?” pops up in your head every now and then, it’s time you start to make a move on your life.

Almost everyday, I felt my life disintegrating and as important as my job looked, sometimes, whilst I was deeply concentrating in front of my PC and drown in so much stuff to do, I barely knew who I was anymore, because I felt more like a machine and less of a human being, my soul being vacuumed out of me and all I had left was grudgy feeling of those people who had tried to trample me down and the fear that if I tried to follow them in order to survive, I might end up like them.

Again, was it worth it?

No. Definitely not. There’s gotta be something better than this. It’s what I always believe – that God has prepared something better for all of us out there and the first thing you gotta do is believe, then the rest will follow.