I Judge You For Using Incorrect Grammar

Yes, I do. I’m sorry, but I can’t help it. It annoys the hell out of me when I see, read or hear bad grammar, and I notice it everywhere; on people’s blogs, on massive billboards, on huge multi-million advertisements that takes up the entire page of a newspaper, out of people’s mouth, and even from protest rallies down on the streets.

For the love of God, I beg you this – if you cannot possibly know the whole functionality of such words like ‘is’,'am’ and ‘are’, or not knowing the past present future of a verb after words like ‘has’, ‘is’ and ‘were’, don’t just assume that it’s not important and that people won’t notice it. They do. I do too. And the reason why nobody says anything about it is because they don’t want to hurt your feelings by telling it to your face that your English sucks.Well tough, because I’m going to break it to you: Your English sucks real bad, it sucks even more than anything that has ever been sucked before.

And if you don’t do anything about it, the whole world will still be laughing at your face. If you can’t even put a bit more effort to learn it correctly, just don’t bother using English at all, because what you are doing is wrecking the whole point of using the language in the first place. And what’s even worse is that you are flaunting it for everybody else to see it too. It’s as if you’re screaming it out loud for everyone to hear, “Hey, people look, my English sucks!’

For Indonesian bloggers with bad grammar: Instead of creating a global image for your blog, you’re just inviting people to laugh their asses off of that piece of yoke you call blog. No matter how nicely done it is, if you use English with fugly grammar, then people from English-speaking countries all over the world will just think of you as lazy ignorant twats.

For ad firms who call themselves “the creatives”: If you can make that much money out of creating some ad that doesn’t make sense to anyone but it’s merely bought because everyone is jinxed to thinking it’s cool, then you can hire a properly-educated English teacher to teach the whole lot of you the difference between the word ‘elegant’ and ‘elegance’ and the knowledge on how to use both words properly, you dumb eejits.

For Indonesian so-called actors and actresses who think they’re celebrities just because they’ve been in one stupid local TV series: Stop mixing Bahasa and English, it makes you look like retards in expensive clothes. Although you know perfectly well that retarded people throw up all over themselves – because that’s exactly what you look like right about now. Messy, disgusting and just plain stupid.

And for street protesters: I can understand your background limitation in English education, but because there are so many of you I’m sure you can afford better spokes person to fix your errors.

If you like this article, you will also love Rima’s writing on Stuff Indonesians Like #7: Being Fluent In Foreign Language