I support the empowerment of women 1000%. I really do. It’s just that I like Ibu Kartini’s version of empowerment better. She felt that Women then (and now) were treated as the lesser sex and she sought to rectify it. She fought for Women’s right to education, legal equality, autonomy etc. She built schools and foundation to empower women and in turn enabling them to have a more active role in society. And she did it in a sympathetic, non-combative way that won the hearts of the people and immortalized her name in Indonesia’s history.

What probably differentiate her with western feminists was the fact that she recognized the fundamental differences between the two sexes. She believed that in order to achieve harmony, the two sexes needed to be equal partners with DIFFERENT roles. That’s different and NOT less.

Women are the worst drivers? Not true, my Mom drives better than most men.

I agree with you that women should be able to roam the streets safely at night without being afraid of getting raped. But the fact remains: Any man can physically overpower a woman with little effort. So unless the woman is a martial artist or is carrying a gun, taking a midnight stroll would be extremely ill-advised.

I like the quote at the end of your article and I somewhat agree with it. Allow me to share a quote from a rather different perspective:

“The more legal and material hindrances women have broken through, the more strictly and heavily and cruelly images of female beauty have come to weigh upon us…During the past decade, women breached the power structure; meanwhile, eating disorders rose exponentially and cosmetic surgery became the fastest-growing specialty…pornography became the main media category, ahead of legitimate films and records combined, and thirty-three thousand American women told researchers that they would rather lose ten to fifteen pounds than achieve any other goal…More women have more money and power and scope and legal recognition than we have ever had before; but in terms of how we feel about ourselves physically, we may actually be worse off than our unliberated grandmothers.”
-Naomi Wolf-

Saya tidak setuju dengan selalu menyalahkan pihak korban (mostly wanita). Tapi kedua belah pihak wajib untuk selalu waspada juga. Maka ada baiknya kalau wanita dibekali kemampuan beladiri.

Begini, sebenarnya perkosaan terhadap pria bukan tidak mungkin. Sounds silly memang, tapi mungkin kan? Knp yang terjadi sebaliknya, karena kita sudah terprogram sedemikian rupa untuk berpikir dan bertindak demikian.

Cewek yang masih di luar rumah sampai jam 10 dipandang kurang baik. Dan cewek dipandang sebagai pasif (objek) dalam kejahatan. Tapi jangan salahkan Indonesia. Di Amerika pun seperti ini. Kalau ada cewek keluyuran jam 10 malam sendirian dan jadi korban kejahatan, tidak sepenuhnya si cewek bebas tak bersalah. Si penjahat akan diadili, si cewek akan “dinasehati”.

Kenapa? Karena kita sudah terprogram untuk berpikir bahwa cewek tidak semestinya begini, mestinya begitu. Kalau dari dulu gender role ini sudah sama dengan pria, mungkin akan tidak sedikit juga kejahatan terhadap pria yang dilakukan oleh wanita. Mungkin.

Pilihannya:
1. Bekali wanita dengan beladiri (apapun)
2. Wanita jangan pergi malam sendirian kalau tidak terpaksa
3. Rombak cara berpikir masyarakat (dunia, bukan cuma Indonesia atau Jakarta).
4. Program pria untuk berpikir dan berindak seperti wanita, sehingga tidak muncul keberanian untuk melakukan kejahatan.

Plus mostly wanita kan masih lebih konservatif drpd pria (cuma nebak, aplg populasi wanita leih besar). Nah, untuk memulai sesuatu yang baik saja sudah dihadang perasaan malu aplg untuk sebuah kejahatan. Kebalikannya dengan pria. Meski sudah jelas saling suka tapi belum ngomong, cewek biasanya cenderung menunggu untuk ditembak kan? Sudah berapa banyak cewek yang nembak duluan?

Pacaran sudah lama dan sudah tau ingin menikah, si wanita masih nunggu untuk dilamar kan (biasanya)? Kenapa nunggu si pria yang ngomong? Say it up front. Ini berarti wanita mendukung konsep perbedaan peran pria-wanita kan?

Masalah ini lebih dari sekedar “there is always a reason for a girl to be raped and it’s always her fault, no matter what”. Hukuman pidana bagi si penjahat (pria) tampaknya belum cukup untuk menebus kejahatan yang dirasakan oleh wanita ditambah fakta bahwa si wanita juga masih diceramahi dalam keadaan yg demikian.

Hukuman mati bagi pelaku perkosaan bisa mengurungkan niat pelaku kejahatan?

Yes, me the angry woman!

Wow, if a girl in a country like the U.S cannot even walk around freely despite of the rep of the country giving equal opportunity for women, imagine how it is in Indonesia!

Recently Elyani also pointed out how a college girl in Binus who just finished her classes, got followed and gang-raped and after reading the news at detik.com, there was this idiot who commented ‘it’s her fault for still wandering around at 10 in the evening by herself.’

It seems like there is always a reason for a girl to be raped and it’s always her fault, no matter what.

I’m browsing your blog right now!

You got some points. It’s not easy not to be subjective when talking about sexual harassment by men and the way women dress. Endless discussion.

I am in the JBRB community. And I, too, found it uneasy to read some points Yonna wrote. But I have to agree with Guebukanmonyet (this is purely my opinion), that your article has a bit sense of, sorry, anger.

I’m a man, you’re a woman. Let’s not put this burden on one of our shoulders. To me, it’s both of the way women and men act.

It might be true that in Singapore and Thailand women can go out with tanktop safely without sexual harassment. Yet, in downtown Baltimore, similarly dressed female students got rapped. My friend had to equipped his gf with a pepper spray, here in the US.

You have nice articles. A softer way would make them more delightful

I would love to have a discussion with you. Gonna be fun ^_^

Ian
randomworld.wordpress.com

And as for girls who get raped/sexually assualted because of the way they dress is NOT true. In fact when they interview sexual assaulters, they don’t remember how the victim dressed.