I Love That I’m Not Working
And what I mean by ‘working’ is going to a 9 to 5 job in a sucky corporate world where you are required to wear silly uniforms and abide stupid rules made by stupid people who are only skilled in kissing other people’s asses.
Call me traumatic, but I think one life experience being in such environment in which I have described above is enough for anyone to call it quits. Knowing that what you are doing is supposed to be this huge deal and that the whole corporation is relying on your shoulder for you to finish your job, but in the end all you have left is your tired-ass body wanting to slam itself to the bed and your soul fleeing away somewhere in the corner of the stinky office hall, too scared to get out but too sunken in to realize how unsociable you have become.
And in the end, you find out that you are just as efficient as a disposable rubbish bag.
When you work in a corporation, you have to develop additional skills that are necessary for your survival. Socializing, bantering, sucking up and arguing during meetings, especially with old bags who think they know everything and look at you as if you are five. What you knew and learnt during college was simply thrown out of the window because you realize that you are not prepared for the political aspect of a working environment - unless you graduate from politics.
But when you work for yourself - that is a whole other league altogether. What you put in today might not work a dime but there is no other way but to keep trying because the more effort you put in, the closer you are to reaching the goal. Of course, the time is super flexible for you - you can start and finish whenever you like, but the hardest thing is being discipline about it.
I read about a novelist who wrote many great books, and she thought that being a writer meant waiting for inspirations to strike up. But in a cold harsh reality, she realized that if she did just that, she would never be able to write anything - so she set herself time to work on her novel, inspired or not, from 8 to 4, with her laptop on her bed and various paper and napkins scribbled with notes and ideas scattered all over.
What stage am I in right now?
I am giving a lot of effort to get up before 10 and make a piece of something - everyday. Although my beau admires my drawing skills, I am by and by a complete perfectionist and I often scratch off work that I haven’t finished instead of finishing it off whether or not it is up to my standard.
I admit that ever since I started college, I had stopped sketching, and I simply forgot the techniques and skills I had long acquired since I was little.
But it’s never too late to start.
March 11th, 2008 at 8:41 am
Therry, maybe you need to just space out for a while. Go for a holiday or an art show. Experiencing something new and interesting perhaps can help spark your artistic impulses. And you got the talents girl!
March 11th, 2008 at 11:21 am
Thanks El!!! Yeah I dunno for some reason it’s so hard for me to start drawing again, it’s like, whatever I do is not good enough that I end up starting it all over again
my skill’s getting kinda rusty hehe…
March 18th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Helllooww….
Salam kenal… Andre di sini.
Inggris you ciamik ya. Bagus banget, kayak bule punya.
You sekulnya where sih?
Anyway… Happy blogging.