If Indonesians Elected Me As President
I had trouble trying to sleep last night, and as I was tossing and turning, I thought about this crazy blog post that I’d been meaning to write. The idea came during the tagboard conversation at Cn’s where we were all saying that if we were the Indonesian presidents we would do such and such.
Now I know
Number One:
I would get rid of all those bullshit shows like Indonesian Idol as well as stupid sinetrons that teach us nothing but creating more significant gap between the poor and the rich, and hypnotizing the nation that life was all about being an all-time tortured Cindefuckingrella and bloody teenagers plotting to kill their mates over puppy loves stuff.
Instead, I would create a brand new, reality-TV show called “Dead Corruptor Walking“, in which every week there would be one corrupt government official chosen amongst several, to be shot to death and the voting would be done via SMS-polling. So the nation could choose themselves!
But since we all knew that practically all Indonesians were corrupt, there would be a specific amount of money to be set as a limit as to how corrupt they were. So if it was in the range of billions of rupiahs, death was definitely definite, where as if it was in the million range, the corruptors could be fined in which all the money would go to …
Number Two:
FPI! No, not to support them more, but to support for their immigration to the countries they have been defended and supporting immensely, such as Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Kuwait, Afghanistan, Palestine, Lebanon, etc.
This was obviously for the better of them - they would and could have a better future there. So you see, the “Dead Corruptor Walking” and the “FPI Goes To …” show was tightly related.
Number Three:
To commemorate the May ‘98 tragedy, every year in May, for the whole month alone I would replace all the huge banners and billboards with the pictures of the riot’s victims - yes, those raped ones included. Don’t worry, no one should be recognized since most of the bodies looked like they were beaten to a pulp and badly mutilated no one would even know the victim was in fact human or not. I think this was the tragedy no one should forget as it was the degradation of
Number Four:
Okay - this whole Lapindo mud flow thing must be ended immediately otherwise it would take over Sidoarjo and
I’m running out of ideas - who’s up for number five?
May 12th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Your are my idol, ther!!! I want to vote u for our next president!!! The ideas all seem brilliant!!!
May 12th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
5. impose higher taxes on people who earn more than USD 2000 per month (bear in mind USD 2000/month is nothing in the US but a lot of dough in Indo)
6. impose wealth tax on those who are wealthy/businessmen/conglomerates.
7. impose a 10-13% monthly social security charges on incomes of everyone, for their own benefit (this money will be used for their pension and health benefits)
8. Make healthcare affordable and health insurance a must for every soul in indonesia
9. Make education and education at a higher level affordable for every sould in indonesia
10. subsidize poor people by using the wealth tax from the wealthy.
11. Raise fuel prices and give fuel price breaks for the poor, especially those who earn their living using it (ojek/taxi drivers)
I still have many.. lol
May 12th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
#4.
One month notice? Wow, you’re too ‘overkind’ on this motherf**ker bro! It’s been almost two yrs, and he done nothing. I’ll only gave him three days notice, and by then he should dispatch necessary fund to pay for the victim, which would only took less than 5 percent of his personal wealth. One month is all there is for the completion of the compensation.
After the victim being taken care, he should open worldwide competition, due in one month, for whoever had the best proposal to stop the mud. In the next three month, the best proposal had to selected and implemented.
So, in six month from now, Lapindo disaster will be over. Failing to comply each and every one of those, there will always be a spot as a guess star in the dead corruptor walking for he and member of his family.
what do u think?
http://www.korbanlapindo.blogspot.com
http://www.korbanlapindo.net
May 12th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Therry,
I do not support a political party but if you run for presidency , I would be proud to display the bumper sticker and show my support
To add the list of yours :
-Create more jobs in the provinces and learn from Thailand how they managed to become one of the leading rice exporter in the world. We need to create the jobs that need more skills than the power of brains.
-There must be separation of religion to state affairs. No religion should dictate to the state nor should the state interfere with the free practice of any religions people want to believe.
-Save our tropical rainforest from further abuse of the greedy businessmen. Hang them to death on the trees if required, together with the authorities who also make money from giving the concessions to destroy our valuable assets. Make environmental awareness as part of our school curriculum.
I am ready for a positive change!
May 12th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Number five: To fire JK from his vice-president position. That man has a mouth that can ruin the whole country.
May 12th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Okay, if I were presidents, I’d choose all of youse as my ministers. Yes peoples, we can save this country!
@Ivy:
Haha! I knew you would! You could be my Minister of Beauty and Shopping Guidance, how’s that? lol
@Rimafauzi:
Brilliant idea on tax increase - I was worried all that money would just go to another brand new corruptor’s son’s Lamborghini but he will be dead and the money goes to the people so it’s ok lol
I think I have another idea, which is:
Make teachers have the highest salary amongst those in govt officials, so that there will be more educated and smart people to teach our next generation.
@korbanlapindo:
Those are some brilliant ideas, mate! I wonder why the government couldn’t come up with something like that.
Oh, wait. I just remembered; our government is too stupid to think of anything smart. It’s the same reason why they decided to heighten the embankment alongside the road that leads to the airport, instead of preventing the flood from coming in the first place.
@Elyani:
You are perfect to be my environmental minister!!
It is obvious that the cause of all these floods was due to illegal loggings and to those who couldn’t even do a simple and easy task such as “throwing rubbish in the rubbish bin.”
I think it’s also important to impose a rule for every household to have two different bins for three different types of rubbish: non-recyclable and recyclable.
@The writer:
Perhaps he should be honored to be the first candidate of “Dead Corruptor Walking”?
May 12th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
@Rima, new tax regulation has applied, and it’s progressive. So if you make up to 5 mil, you’ll have to pay 10%, the rest 5-10mil, you’ll get another amount, and above 10 to 20 mil, another %, and so on. I remember I was taxed quite heavily last year although not like in Western countries where your take home pay can be only 50% from the total salary. What we SHOULD do, actually to find where all those good taxpayers’ money have gone!!
My idea is to refurbish the cities like Jakarta so it can be accessed by walking. It’s the 10-minutes city idea, and it’s applicable. Everything should be accessible in 10 minutes! We would save up so many hours, which, hopefully, means we could do things more efficiently rather than sitting around in cars doing nothing, improve our quality time with family, and reduce the gas emission.
Emphasize on practical education, and apply a strict standard salary to every industry. There’s nothing wrong to be a mechanic and a carpenter (Scotland is in the crisis of plumbers, you have to wait for 2 weeks to get them to come to your house. Imagine 2 weeks without gas or hot water!).
Legalize the prostitution and gambling, rather than have it done under the table.
I like the FPI ideas. I’m not sure those countries are willing to take them anyway, they’re too f** up and can only scream louder than their action…
Good post, Therry. x
May 12th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
i’d plant more trees instead of chopping them down in the city.
May 13th, 2008 at 12:32 am
Thank you Therry for your support and kind heart (and pretty smile).
May 13th, 2008 at 1:02 am
finallywoken: well if the new tax law has been applied, we should see some changes. but no, there aren’t any.
i guess we have to go back to therry’s dead corruptor walking and just get rid of them all, then we can apply the tax and distribute it among the poor.
about 50% take hoome pay isn’t bad. that’s roughly the amount of what i take home. 14 pecent goes to my social security, and around 30% is pure tax for the government that i enjoy because they use it for the city/country i.e. nice smooth roads, security (police force), clean streets, many trees etc.
speaking about trees, Indonesians should begin to realise trees are better than malls and apartments. it’s bloody hot there and like cn naz said, we should plant more instead of chopping them down to build giant buildings.
May 13th, 2008 at 11:44 pm
Let’s chew one thing at a time… before all else, just impose on a ruling of “Korupsi - Tembak Mati” and that is final (Harga Mati) then all else will crumble.. and more steps are open to follow..
Cheers,
May 14th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
@Finally Woken:
Hmm.. I’ve heard of this same problem about plumbers and mechanist being a rarity in certain countries. Australia was undergoing the same thing - when previously students who earned degrees in design and IT were the ones that had more chance in getting a PR, now Australia needed more people in the practical field - like plumbers and hairdressers.
I like your idea about refurbishing Jakarta, though I cannot imagine if it is being implemented it would create a huge traffic disaster since commuters from all over Jabodetabek comes and goes to the city.
I also support legal prostitution and gambling - it’s already happening even if it’s illegal anyways.
@Cn Naz:
As opposed to more, and more shopping malls, city squares etc etc?
@Jenniesbev.com:
Thanks for dropping by, Jen!
@Kampret Nyasar:
That’s what I thought too! Hahaha.
May 14th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
naw…we have too many malls!!!
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:38 am
@ the writer: LOL.
I thought i was the only one who think indonesian idol is a crap. OMG. hihi. many thinks it a positive reality show lho.
i salute you. i dont even have that willingness to be indonesian president.
May 24th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
5. 300% (or more) tax for cigarettes!!!
6. smoker in public places must be punished by doing push-ups 50 times in front of public!!!!!
7. SUPACHEAP & SUPAFAST INTAHNET!!!
i for one vote therry for president!
May 28th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Ahh yes. The cigarette tax money would do a lot of good to improve this country since almost everyone smokes these days.
I like the 50 sit-ups idea too - I bet they can’t even do 10 in the first place, smokers tend to get out of breath a lot quicker than non-smokers.
And definitely, cheap and fast internet for everyone.
I support me too for president. lol