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What’s So Great About Being a Bride

Reading from their answers, which one do you think have more chance to have a lasting marriage (as in, when the husbands find out what their wives really like, will not run for miles to the arms of another woman)?

As what I’ve said many times before (most probably in other people’s blogs too), Indonesians tend to focus more on the wedding instead of the marriage - why is that?

I know being wedded off is supposed to be this big day of your life, a mark to end that singleton status, whatever - but why is it that it has to be so extravagant up to a point where the couple (mostly the brides, in which they end up being bridezillas) forget the reason why they are getting married in the first place?

I was once a bridesmaid for a friend’s wedding, and it was such a horrible experience for me, I’m not entirely sure I really want to do it again. The whole reception went okay up until the point when she asked the bridesmaid to stand in line and catch the freaking bouquet. She actually screamed our names through the microphone, asking us to come forward, and insisting that we should. Apparently, bridezillas like to embarrass their single friends on their big day, in front of other people.

Seriously -catch the bouquet? Do I look like a superstitious, despo singleton? Not to mention that we didn’t even get the chance to eat because we were busy supervising how the food was going, at the end of the evening we had to stop by at some Padang restaurant and stuff our faces silly.

Now I don’t know about you, but I personally like to make my guests - and bridesmaids, if I ever decide to have them - to have a good time on my wedding day. I want them to eat, drink and be merry. I want them to feel the joy that I feel. A wedding doesn’t have to be a massive event where there is the necessity to invite thousands of guests and spend days thinking about the favors, decorations and flowers. What is the point of having so many guests when you don’t even recognize a third of them, and end up forking up so much money on things that people won’t even appreciate?

But who can honestly say they’ve been to a wedding where it has not been a pain in the ass? I’ve just purchased a bridal catalogue that’s the thickest on the magazine stand, and by the time I finished reading it I felt like I’d attended a hundred wedding receptions that I was all fed up of it. All of the pages screamed out the same messages - weddings should be big, extravagant, luxurious, expensive, and most of all - impersonal. I even stumbled upon a wedding photographer page that begged the question of whether or not the photographer himself could actually read, since he took a photo of two wedding rings with a portion of the holy bible as the background, and used the bit from the Old Testament that talked about beheadings and disasters.

Either I’m so out of what’s hot and not, or that photographer was definitely on crack.

So what’s so great about being a bride? If you were asked the same question (notice also that the title should end with a question mark instead of an exclamation mark), what would be your answers?

This entry was posted Monday, July 21st, 2008 at 4:14 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

21 Responses to “What’s So Great About Being a Bride”

  1. Koko Says:
    July 21st, 2008 at 4:55 pm

    Because you can justify your rants to your husband-to-be as a way to deal with your stress?

    You mean when the brides turn into bridezillas? LOL…

  2. the writer Says:
    July 21st, 2008 at 6:04 pm

    Pake bahasa Indonesia aja yak, pusing udah nulis laporan dalam bhs Inggris berlembar-lembar.

    Kalo menurut gw, itu pertanyaannya juga sih, bride gitu loh, bukan mengacu ke wife, jadi makanya jawabannya mengacu ke wedding bukan marriage - kali aja begitu.

    Sumpe gw pengen mati ketawa liat jawaban-jawabannya, “ngabisin ratusan juta dalam semalem”…doain yang calon suaminya / pacar enggak baca jawaban dia.

    “pengen ngerasain malam pertama” ho-ho-ho, ini jawaban naif atau memang polos?

    “melihat foto gw terpampang di pintu, koran etc” halah mbak, mbok ya ikutan demo FPI aja, pasti masuk koran, lebih keren daripada ketauan ngabisin ratusan juta dalam semalam (mengacu ke jawaban atas)

    Yah, emang wedding masih jadi tradisi luar biasa di Indonesia dimana saling pamer, (terutama orang tuanya nih) jadi ya anaknya ya dididik kaya gitu, coba ditanya cowoknya, what makes you excited being a groom, pasti udah pada lari ke WC semua, sakit perut…

    sekian koin dua rupiah dari saya (two-cents gitu maksudnya)

    I thought I was the only one (apart from my fiance) who thought those girls’ answers were ridiculous!! I’m relieved now…

    Of course weddings are important, but it doesn’t have to be THE most important thing - well at least that’s how I see it. There are other memories to be made, and a wedding is just one of them.

  3. rima fauzi Says:
    July 21st, 2008 at 6:41 pm

    I really dont know. I didn’t feel great being a bride but that’s probably because I really don’t care about these things, couldn’t be bothered by it. I don’t understand girls who are obsessed with it either.

    I care about my own wedding day but not so much to the point where it will drive me nuts. Most people get so carried away in the little details they forget about the important ones.

    For example, Indonesians go nuts over the souvenirs/thank-you gifts, the invitations (the thicker and more elaborate, the better, despite them ending up in the rubbish bins anyway!), the decorations, the video intro that plays as the newlyweds walk along the aisle to their throne during the reception (yes, people do this shit) etc., etc.

    Girls are obsessed with the concept of their wedding day, because most of them are raised with the idea of getting married as the be-all and end-all.

  4. Ivy Says:
    July 21st, 2008 at 6:46 pm

    I know it’s just crazy how much wedding costs these days, isn’t it? Kata photographer yg kemarin fotoin cc make up on the wedding day can cost about 25 mill. Gilaaa…. 25jt mah mending nikah tamasya aja kali…sayang2in duit aja

    Holy shite, 25 mills for photography??? Are you serious?! I could buy a brand new 20″ Macintosh with that, and still got some left for ooh.. I dunno, camera stuff? LOL

    Better yet, that amount of money can be spent on a nice honeymoon somewhere in Ubud… I think I’m looking forward to the honeymoon rather than the wedding, eh? *any excuses will do for a nice vacation*

  5. elyani Says:
    July 21st, 2008 at 7:37 pm

    Well, for someone who’s on an 8 figure salary they may beg to differ. But personally I never would spend that much as there are more important things like a house deposit and necessities. A simple, basic Register Office ceremony for close family and a simple reception will do.

    Exactly what I’m talking about ;) I don’t think an eight figure salary can still cover an extravagant wedding reception being held at the Ritz-Carlton! LOL

  6. woelank Says:
    July 21st, 2008 at 8:54 pm

    well…
    Indonesian wedding are meant to be a symbol of the families wealth, So it’s not the bride who is married at the wedding ceremony but it’s about two families married in a wedding festival.
    that’s why Indonesian always try to have a wedding party to the limits of their financial..
    The bride might want a simple and penniless wedding, but, don’t now about the parents.

    Ther, dont forget invite me ha….

    I hope my parents won’t want a huge wedding like those being held indoors with ice-carvings - gah! I’m pretty sure they’re not entirely fussy about weddings either.

    If you look at the picture of the article snippet I’d attached in my posting, do you actually think the brides generally want simple and penniless weddings? LOL.

    From what I’ve seen, most are obsessed about having a massive one!

  7. Lorraine Says:
    July 22nd, 2008 at 1:20 am

    Totally agree with Woelank, especially in certain cultures (Javanese, Batak, Padang etc.).

    The whole fuss around being a bride could drive you crazy!!! Not only it is generally expected that the bride should be radiant at the big day (countless visits to a beauty salon, following a diet), but she’s also the one who suppossedly arranges everything. The consequence of this all it a stressed bride to be, turned Bridezilla.

    Keep your head cool girl. Just do what you & your fiancé love to do!

    Yep, my fiance and I already have the same idea on what kind of wedding do we want. I think all we need is a very good wedding planner/organizer to make it into reality :)

    Radiant? Damn. What’s a facial? I think I’ve only had one of those about twice in my entire life. I’m thinking about working out and tone up my body so that I will actually look fit in my wedding gown (as opposed to dieting because I like to eat and that aint’ a crime)…

    I cannot believe I am talking about weddings and wedding gowns now. I seriously thought that day would never come. LOL

  8. Ane Bukan Siape2 Says:
    July 22nd, 2008 at 4:28 am

    Gak jadi hiatus? Iya deh mendingan gini, sekali sekala aja postingnya. Gua juga lagi bete nih, bosen ama negatif2 orang. Emangnya mereka kasi makan gue? hehhehe… :)

    Jadi ngga ya… jadi ngga ya… he3x. Topik bridezilla memang menggugah banget sih, ga bisa ngga di-posting. Ok now I’m going back to my hiatus period LOL.

    Well, you know what they say about negative people - they are just green with envy! Chin up babe :)

  9. Finally Woken Says:
    July 22nd, 2008 at 11:58 am

    I think this post can be linked to mine in a sense that they care so much about showing off their, I don’t know, wealth, beauty, success (?) they forget the essence of the whole thing.

    One thing I never understand from the bridal magazines is 80% of the pages are filled with…. bridal gowns! I mean I do really want to throw a nice party but usually they only put one or two articles about it.

    Second thing is, some choose PINK as their party theme. Do you think any sane guys would wear pink tie? He’d be mocked forever by his friends. So it must be the bride who decides, and where’s the groom’s voice in this then?

    I’m with you with the bouquet throwing thing. Even when I was single I never wanted to line up to catch it and hope I’d be the next bride, ugh, nauseating! I like the idea of giving the bouquet to the couple who has the longest marriage (grandma & grandpa?), which I think is more meaningful.

    And yes, EVERYBODY should have a good time in the party, especially our VIP friends. So if bridesmaids can’t enjoy the party, there must be something wrong with it.

    So am I expecting an invite? :)

    Well, I would love to see MORE bridal gowns in the recent bridal magazine that I purchased - there were too many unecessary pages of wedding photographers and their portfolios (some are just plain stupid and silly, showing the bride flying like she was in Hidden Tiger Crouching Dragon movie set) and wedding venues (most were indoors, with ice carvings, gah!).

    But you’re right - there aren’t enough articles about party ideas, especially for those who want to keep it on the down low.

    Uhm… the groom usually just leaves the whole thing up to the bride - and regret it later on when the bride turns into a bridezilla LOL. For men, being involved in a wedding preparation is similar to being dragged into a nightmarish shopping experience where the girl keeps on asking “Is this nice?” or “Will this make my ass look big?”

    That bouquet thing was nothing compared to the grilling days my friend had made me endured - she asked us to be bridesmaid and yet two-weeks prior to the day she hadn’t decided whether we should buy our own dresses or whether she’d provide us with. In the end she got us dresses but none of them looked good so we ended up going to the shop and picked the ones that we preferred (she chose for me a red one with a big bow on the stomach, I could not walk around with that thing).

    At the end of the night when said our goodbyes (she’d be moving overseas where her husband lived), she said, “I can’t kiss you goodbye because it will ruin my make up.” And I thought, “Err… okay.”

    Sigh.

    Jadi curhat gini LOL. Well, all in all the whole thing pretty much put me off weddings and being a bridesmaid. I don’t think I’ll even have them when I get married - nobody enjoys being one!

  10. GJ Says:
    July 22nd, 2008 at 12:53 pm

    PSST Therry the photographer was right, many will argue that the institute of marriage is a disaster and feels like a beheading!!

    Best wishes with your plans.

    Maybe he’s a cryptic ninja and he’s trying to get the message out there? “Leave, people, before it’s too late! Before you get your heads chopped off!”
    LOL.

    Thanks GJ, perhaps I will invite you and make “Batik attire” as the dressing code? I know you’ll like that!

  11. van Says:
    July 22nd, 2008 at 1:03 pm

    So what’s so great about being a bride? <<< It’ll only be great if you’ll end up marrying what Disney describes as your “true heart’s dream”.

    That’s nice ;) That task is already marked done, and I think I can pretty much get on with my life now… but wait. Apparently finding one’s true heart’s dream need affirmation and confirmation as well as legalisation for the sake of other people who are not even involved with us, the couple!

  12. Mia Says:
    July 22nd, 2008 at 1:52 pm

    I have written in great length in my blog about how I had the wedding of my dream - 30 guests, no gowns, no frills, just a lot of champagne. For me what’s so great about being a bride is having your loved ones present to witness your union. That’s what you need to focus on, not the flowers, outfits, food, invitation cards, decorations and other insignificant factors.

    Have a great wedding Therry! Just remember that your wedding is just one day in your life, while marriage is for life.

    Welcome back girl! I’ve read that posting and it’s a great story - you’ve inspired me to follow your low-key wedding!

    So many people have truly lost the meaning of being wedded, joint in the holy matrimony etc., etc. I think it’s the want to declare to the world that you’ve found your soulmate - that’s what marriage truly means. The rest of the stuff don’t matter much :) The gowns will go yellow and wrinkly, the flowers will droop and die, and the food will be eaten (or not) and the cards… will be thrown in the rubbish bin! LOL.

  13. rimafauzi Says:
    July 22nd, 2008 at 2:27 pm

    so when is the bloody wedding??

    it better be at the same time i’m in indo, or else! lol

    Uhm… sometime next year. Maybe. You better be prepared by then! I’m gonna have you singing “LOVE” at my wedding day ;)

  14. isman Says:
    July 22nd, 2008 at 5:31 pm

    In a culture where we have a TV show (Katakan Cinta, for one) which portrays men or women go to great lengths (and idiocy) to declare their love… marriage will definitely be a surprise to many.

    Which is quite different compared to the American TV shows that depict people sleeping around and getting divorced and marrying their uncles or aunties or step-granddaughter that everyone in the show has practically known what the other characters look like, naked!

    Hey, maybe that’s why Western people don’t make such a big fuss about their weddings!

  15. Toni Says:
    July 22nd, 2008 at 9:38 pm

    What about Las vegas style, less than 10 minutes, and cost about 300 dollar. I would have chosen that for sure. :D

    With an Elvis-lookalike as the priest right? Hmm. Nah, too cheesy :P It’ll be like that Chuck and Larry movie where I’ll have to pick a street drunkard as my witness he3x.

  16. woelank Says:
    July 23rd, 2008 at 1:13 am

    PS:
    What’s so great being a groom is…
    I’ve never exeperience it…..
    so.. who’s my bride?

    Are you asking me? Or is that some kind of a hidden question intended for sexy singles bachelorette who happen to stumble my blog? *wink2*

  17. katadia Says:
    July 23rd, 2008 at 11:59 am

    Hua..ha… thanks for scanning the page, but that weddding rings pic is just hilarious!

    When all gets a bit too nutty, try to keep things in perspective Ther. I was in tears a couple of times in the months leading up to my wedding too. As long as your folks/in-laws are paying for it, then let them go bananas. All this commotion and the stress involved in being a bride-to-be who has to accommodate the demands from your parents, in-laws, extended relies, neighbours, etc etc…. are just a small price to pay so you can finally have regular sex be with the love of your life. He..he…

    I reckon the first picture is more hilarious - those girls’ responses are beyond! LOL

    Letting my parents pay for it? That would disaster Katz! They will take over everything! Even worse, they will want the wedding to suit their taste, not mine (that’s like comparing Old Spice with Ralph Lauren Romance). Actually I’ve thought about not involving a lot of people - just those who really have to be, like my parents and my parents-in-law ;)

    I wonder if that’s possible….

  18. ecky Says:
    July 23rd, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    I watched one of Oprah’s episode about wedding, one of them already plan how to have her wedding and she has the full booklet of theme, gown, the party, the cake, food, music etc.. Just like Monica Geller in Friends, unbelievable!

    And Oprah said, some girls forget about the whole meaning of getting marriage, it’s not all about the wedding day but it’s how are you going to spend the next day (after wedding day) and the rest of your life with your loved one is the most important thing of all. I’m with her all along!

    A lot of girls do that - plan their weddings since they were like, ten or something! And I felt so left out because I never had the urge to do the same! It’s as if everything is ready (gowns, flowers, venues, decorations) and all they need is some picture-perfect man to fit their picture-perfect wedding!

    That’s insane LOL

    Makes me think that some women actually treat men like accessories!

  19. Andie Summerkiss Says:
    July 23rd, 2008 at 4:55 pm

    I went against the mainstream on my wedding .. the whole affair cost less than USD 2,000, rings, food, tent, photos, band included. :D No studio photos taken. I did buy the dress though (let’s not discuss how much it cost). I was the cheapest bride in the whole North Sumatra. I think that’s one of the reason why no magazines came to cover it … LOL.

    Less than $2000?? Care to share the details? ;)
    I’m after a simple dress that doesn’t drag down on the floor ten miles away (I hate those types), just a simple, minimalist and well-cut design. The wedding gowns being shown at local bridal magazines are too elaborate for me. How come they don’t do simple and nice designs like in the US or something?

    So where did you get your gown? *wink*

  20. pitshu Says:
    July 24th, 2008 at 8:44 am

    hmmm… kalo menurut pitshu, pernikahan kan yang penting ikatan na! dan memory na. Jadi yang penting bukan resepsi na, yang penting saat pemberkatan di gereja na, dan tanggal pemberkatan yang penting hihihi. walaupun kata orang wedding itu seumur idup hanya 1 kali, jadi yang namanya resepsi itu perlu, tapi menurut pitshu sih enggak perlu ^^.

    Yang penting saat di gereja, ada banyak mawar putih, g menggunakan gaun pengantin modern atau kebaya bewarna putih nan indah ^^. Dan bisa menerima pemberkatan/sakramen pada tanggal yang g pilih.

    Setubuh Pit!! Resepsi tidak seberapa penting dibandingkan dengan pemberkatan! Gw jg mikir nih keqnya ga bakal ada resepsi. Habis pemberkatan, makan-makan aja sama keluarga terdekat. Beres deh!

    Pitshu kapan merit, udah ada ide mau gimana diadainnya? Share ya ;)

  21. Nenda Fadhilah Says:
    August 12th, 2008 at 10:47 am

    Kalau saya menikah nanti yang penting ijab kabul sama masalah administrasi. Kalau soal pesta, makan-makan kecil sama 100 orang undangan palingan (teman dekat dan keluarga) sudah cukup.
    Males pesta gede gt, cape jadi pajangan depan pelaminan, udah gt kan gw agak-agak hiperaktif pula. Mendingan duit pestanya buat beli rumah/apartemen saja.

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