The Dogs at Work
Being a female teacher is difficult.
No, no. Let me rephrase that. Being a female teacher is challenging. It is. Especially when you teach adult students in which about 99.99% percent of them are males in their early (and sometimes late) twenties.
Most of the time, the students are surprised to find out that I’m in my late twenties as well. I am indeed currently the youngest teacher at work, and that fact alone can make seem somewhat unconvincing – as a teacher and as a person they’re supposed to look up to.
I’ve gotten a few stares from students who doubt my abilities in the first days of their courses. Some even think it’s fine to actually attempt to flirt or even bordering on teasing me, even though as the company policy explains clearly on their orientation days, those actions alone can be categorised as sexual harassment.
It can be frustrating sometimes. Because like it or not, it’s common for Indonesian male to whistle, catcall or even yell obscene words to the opposite sex. This happened to me in one morning during my first two weeks since I started working; as I was getting out of my car and putting on my shoes (it’s absolutely impossible for me to drive wearing work shoes), I heard a whistle coming from a group of students who were gathering a few meters from where I was.
How did I feel? Insulted? Of course. Pissed off? Absolutely. Harassed? Definitely. But most of all, I felt hugely disappointed. I am passionate about my job and I care deeply about my students – and this is how they think of me? As a sex object in which they can whistle at just because they are used to get away with it most of the times?
A similar thing also happened yesterday morning, in which it was my turn to teach the new Assistant Steward Lido class. At the end of the lesson, I was praising the students because they had been very good in answering questions, and all of a sudden one student who was sitting at the far right corner at the back started singing, “Because of you…” (Yes, you know that song, by that African-American whatshisname Martin?) in a way that was obvious that he was trying to tease me.
I immediately went up to him and demanded him to sing in front of the class. In which he started to get all embarassed and panicky, and his excuse was that he didn’t know the lyrics of the song. Of course I was only bluffing – all I wanted to do was trying to embarass him in front of the class simply because he was being an idiot. A few minutes after, he did exactly the same thing. Again.
I had to hold my anger because I wouldn’t want to yell obscenities to this student on his first day. It would be easy to go “Get the fuck out of my class, you fucking piece of shit!” and whatelses to him, but I thought better.
There are in fact procedures to handle these things. What usually happens is that the student get sent to the Academic Director (who always plays the bad cop role) and he will usually put the fear of God in him.
The fact is that singing, catcalling and whistling can all be perceived as sexual harassment. And this is a serious matter, because once they actually start working, they will have to deal with female (and male as well) American guests who are of course can be much more individual – in terms of clothing options – than us, Indonesians.
But most of all it’s simply because we, as women have never had the courage to do something about it. On the other hand, I am thankful that the place where I work in take sexual harassment very seriously. In other companies, us women would be thought crazy if we complain about such things.
Just like what Samantha Jones says, “Men are like dogs – the reason why dogs lick their balls is simple; Because they can.” Of course, she is talking about cheating, but I think the saying goes for harassing as well. Men can sexually harass women simply because they can.
So whenever I get the odd ones who try to be the class clown or simply try to test me – I’ll simply treat them like dogs.
Hey, it works with mine, except that my dog is far much better than them.
16 comments
Haha, I know how it feel
it suck 
I refer to the teaching stuff, soalnya dulu pas semester 2 kuliah nyambi ngajar buat mahasiswa2 semester akhir
they look at me with look yang meremehkan 
Hmm..
Refer to catcall juga bisa sih.. it suck too, soalnya dulu pas SMA pernah digituin ma bunch of girls… so I never-ever ‘nyuit2′ sama woman *grin*
Eru´s last blog post..Lately ~ Lately
Mereka yang memperlakukan perempuan dengan cara seperti itu memiliki liga-nya sendiri, – liga cowok2 brengsek. Kabar buruknya mereka tak akan pernah berubah dan jumlahnya lebih banyak dari cowok yang respek terhadap lawan jenisnya. Apa yang mereka lakukan hanyalah mencoba bermain dengan obyek seksualnya.
Jika menempatkan diri sebagai subyek maka tak perlu meladeni permainan seperti itu. Selain tak layak juga membuang waktu.
Lebih bijak jika mengambil perhatian penuh kepada mereka yang memiliki respek terhadap orang lain. Kelompok ini ibarat bibit unggul yang layak untuk dibuat lebih pintar. Meski jarang, berkontribusi terhadap hidup mereka jauh lebih memuaskan daripada terpancing permainan dari liga cowo2 brengsek.
Murid brengsek biarlah tetap menjadi brengsek, mereka sudah memiliki destiny-nya sendiri.
I admired you, … there is always an honour for a teacher (especially for young female teacher …
Hua… ha… you know something funny, I used to get so much irritated and upset when random ppl ‘nyuitin’ me, but now that I have two kids and look very ‘maternal’ I do wonder why they’ve stopped doing that!!!! LOL! But in your case, rather than getting a “ibu2″ makeover, what you should do to build that air of authority (which is going to be hard since you are cute!!!
), is to prolly write hard exams and mark them hard also. Tau rasa! Wekekekk
katadia´s last blog post..A late one on Election 2009
a stranger once said to me, “how much is your cost per night?”
i could punch him in the face………but i won’t give him the satisfaction…
so i looked at him up and down, and replied, “you (point) can’t afford me.”
then walked away.
geez…………
Perhaps it is an inspiring lecture to teach about sexual harassment? Because they would be working in a business where service is the key word. Treating male and female guests will be part of their daily job.
I do have exactly the same experience as Katadia. Once I have became a mother, there is no suit suit anymore.
Lorraine´s last blog post..Homo Emancipation
Yes, that would be a good lecture. Sexual hassasment is so worthless.
Why would any guy think it’s a working line to catch a female, anyway?
(then again, what do I know, because I’m alone and probably will die alone…) but none-the-less…It is unwanted and moronic to make that kind of noise in a class.
Perhaps by fining them?
Get Mr. Bad Cop in for a class or two.
Bring a sharp cleaver into class with you someday, and at the first whistle or song, whip that out and STICK it to the desk top (WHACK!) and by gosh, maybe they’ll think twice before poking….
(OK, this is an odd add-on. It appears Finally Woken’s blog went dark.
I always wonder if the person knows it)
boneman´s last blog post..Sugar Creek Bridge
Therry…
I cannot comment on how it feels. I am not a woman. I might add that I cannot lick my balls either
Generally, as a teacher, exert your authority and lay down the law. Set the ground rules for class behaviour and enforce them (I don’t think I am telling you anything you don’t know here).
The stuff that happens outside of class is probably a case of not being able to do much. Although, karma is always fun as one of these wolf whistlers might find themselves in one of your classes and revenge is a sweet dish served cold.
Good luck.
Rob´s last blog post..Eating Your National Animals
I dont have balls though I know if I did I’d be able to lick them .. lol
but hey, take it easy.. boys will be boys. The more angry you get the more they will tease you.
Reason with them and tell them that it is highly impolite to do so, that women feel degraded and feel as though they are like a piece of meat or an object when men do that and then also try ask them to imagine if their gf, wives, sisters, daughters, moms or grandmas were being treated that way, see if they still think it’s ok..
Things like that might change how they act around women..
But on a lighter note, you get teased, whistled at, flirted at etc cos you are one hot mama!! If you weren’t, nobody would do it.. so all in all, just let it go and take it as a compliment (well, that’s what I do but you know me, the attention whore that I am, will take ANYTHING as a compliment… tee hee..)
rima fauzi´s last blog post..Indonesian Blogger Meet Up – Rotterdam, 3 May 2009
LOL .. I can relate to your story. Yes, it’s hard enough to be a woman in Indonesia with all those cat calls and harassment around. Being a young female teacher for male students can be a bigger challenge. Nice to know that your office sets a clear guidelines to handle those things and I personally think you’ve been dealing with it graciously.
If I may share. I was 22 years old, one of the youngest, when began teaching (back in 1996 that is). It was absolutely annoying to catch insulting stares from some male students while I was at the white board. Some had the guts to approach after class. Another managed to get my phone number and kept on calling. Obviously they didn’t take me seriously. So I was drawing a clear boundary between me and my students. I gave them warm attention as a teacher only and replied coldly beyond that. Don’t get me wrong, the atmosphere in my classes were always relax and full of laughs, but once a student went too far I gave punishment (writing extra homework, or like you did by asking the culprit to sing an English song in front of the class). Slowly they got the message, stopped pushing my buttons, and respected me as their teacher. I remember a class gave me a farewell present with a note : “To Ma’am Santi, our beloved teacher who we cannot mess up with”. LOL.
santi d´s last blog post..Family Language: Are We Still Simple?
yep…it’s exactly like how you painted it. i still get shocked every time i experience all the tiny but annoying harrassments back home.
i guess the best way to deal with it is probably to ignore them and think of everything as compliments? (i know it is difficultttt) or b..haha fail them, like score: A – 3 counts of harrassments = E (can teachers do that? i was just wondering hehe)
mochachocolatarita´s last blog post..Spicy Turmeric Eggplant – Dinner with A View
kenapa gak lo gampar aja? bukannya anak anak sekolah pelayaran di-didik dengan keras ya? ;p
boy´s last blog post..26
Hm..lucky me
I never get that kind of “treatment” from my male students, maybe because they were afraid of me
But I do agree with Rob, you should set ground rules of behaviour in class, so they won’t do that kind of “dog” things to you.
I think you should be the bad guys sometimes, not always but sometimes, so they will try to behave in your class.
I think the “loving my dog” thing works both ways
Rob´s last blog post..The Indonesian Economy in 2011 — 8% Growth
..they did it to u..??
boyz will be boyz..
ask ur boyfriend about this.. ok??
be cool ms..
I can understand how annoying it would be to have those morons cat call at you. They thought it is a joke or a way to get your attention. I do not believe in Indonesia there are laws are about street harassment, I don’t think there will ever be one either…*sigh*
Elyani´s last blog post..Neko loves the camera more than Suneo
Hahaha…no matter what you wear, how you look, men will always give comment about women they see and interact with and test us. I have never taught but I did give several courses in universities. Glad none has given any wierd comments. But I’ve been on couple of oil rigs and I got some ‘comments’. The thing is, I always have the power to piss men off with my job, hahaha.
Don’t get mad, get even (this is Ivanna Trump’s quote that I love so much). Go beyond even. Challenge their brain and piss them off intellectually. But I think it will stop eventually, as long as you don’t lose your temper.
parvita´s last blog post..Islam, Facebook, Cellphones and Perverts