Fragment of Memories.
This January, the rain has been painting my days in a wet and grimy mood. The cool air, the strong breeze, the white, muted skies and the sudden flourish of water that pours in the afternoon somehow reminds of Melbourne.
I spent six years of my life there, and I finally came back to Indonesia six years ago. And yet, sometimes I’m reminded of it in ways that I don’t think are possible.
Like the time when I drive home, when the traffic is insane and there are massive container trucks surrounding me. When I look up to the skies, I’m reminded of Melbourne in winter time. It is the same, grey sky that froze my cheeks and numbed my fingers. I remember the time when I used to take drives with my host sister in the almost empty freeway, a privilege that I don’t get to experience here, except for the odd Saturdays when we have to come in.
Like the time when I walk out of the office building to my car, and the cool breeze blows so softly through my hair, and I’m reminded of Melbourne in summer time. How the breeze in the evening felt so nice in contrast to the humid, hot air that scorched us all the way through the day. I’d always loved Melbourne’s summer evenings. Especially the short walk that I always took from the station back to home in Camberwell, where the street was quiet and the trees stood tall and shadowed the lights, making the whole atmosphere somewhat mystic and peaceful.
Like the time when I take a break from checking on the piles of the students’ homework and look out through the window to the office’s surrounding garden that is quite nice and green, and I’m reminded of Melbourne’s Botanical Garden and of the frequent sights I used to see of office workers taking their breaks there, lying around on the grass reading the newspaper and enjoying the warmth of the sun, their take-away lunches sitting not far from them.
I heart Melbourne with all its crazy four-seasons-in-one-day weather, with the hustle and bustle of the city, with the quietness of Camberwell, with the hip and happening crowds in South Yarra, with the lushness of the gardens that were scattered all over the city and the individuality of the people, with the train trips I used to take to the city and to the university, even to zone three areas where it was barren and full of suburbian houses, Blockbusters and small shopping centres with Safeways, McDonalds and Big W’s.
In this present time, I still feel that the me that I remember then is still there, but she’s not quite here. Even though back then I probably felt that I didn’t quite belong to the way the people lived, even here, back in Indonesia, I still don’t feel like I do.
I wonder what is the place where I can truly feel like I belong.
Because deep down, I still want to go home.
12 comments
hiks.. I’m so sad now, and remembering past things as well.. what’s gotten into you? PMS is it?
nice writing, therry!
Hi, I accidentally bumped into this blog. that last par
“Even though back then I probably felt that I didn’t quite belonged to the way the people lived, even here, back in Indonesia, I still don’t feel like I do.”
is so me.
cheers from an ex-melburnian too.
@Boy: Thanks Boy!!!
@Schizilly: Hi! Which part of Melbourne are you from? Do you still live there?
Thanks for visiting my blog 
not sure if i shd reply here or in my blog..
the last place i stayed was in brunswick, along lygon st.
but anyway,
back in melb, i spent my stay there hopping from suburb to suburb
you were in camberwell yea? whereabouts? i spent most my first year there too.
I totally get you Ther! This month marks exactly seven years since I left Germany. I also get bouts of memory waves that just clamps my heart for a few seconds, often from small insignificant stuff like what you had. The memory would rush in and for a few short moments it was quite flabbergasting.. especially knowing that even if I go back there today, things won’t be the same as when I was there. Funny cos I already feel I’m home here in Bali… when I was in Germany I often felt homesick, but when I think of my life in Germany I know it’s not homesickness, but what is it?
Totally love this entry….you have a way of bringing your readers into your position and feel all the things u r feeling now
Hi
Thanks for reminding me the lovely things about melbourne. I have lived here for 12 years now; but i have been getting bouts of home sickness from indonesia
I miss jakarta ; i miss its chatter; its crazy traffic ; ….and well everything. I guess what Im trying to say is we all miss something, wherever we live and to enjoy the things that ‘are’ available to us currently.
Karima
u deserve to get the place u belong to, the life u dream on, the home u get comfy with. life is too short to not enjoying life therry, so go for it!
ther… udalah.. ga usa dipikirin lagi.. let go lah..
:p
Yeah, Melbourne is like that isn’t it? Making your mood wet and grimy
but also happy and sunny