I knew he was one of the weak ones; he was actually repeating the class because he failed the previous one. But I’d seen improvements from him, and he tried so hard to keep up, and I kept thinking I should do something to help him.

But that opportunity never came, because the academic director had told him before that if he still couldn’t improve after three weeks, he had to go home, and I didn’t know anything about it.

What killed me more was the fact that he didn’t tell me about it, he’d kept it to himself for three weeks and I couldn’t do anything to keep him in the class because he had already made an agreement with the Academic Director. I just thought it was deeply unfair that he couldn’t stay until the end of the course and get to be interviewed like the rest of the students there. I even stated my objection but the AD was adamant that what was agreed couldn’t be changed.

It was hard for me to see him go, as I was the one who saw him everyday in class, and I noticed how hard he tried, and he did show improvements, and my belief in him grew; I had faith that he could make it this time around.

When the news had to be given to him, I saw that he was disappointed, but what killed me more was that he was still smiling and said that it was alright, that he would come back next year and try again. He was so optimistic still, even though he had failed.

It was even more unbearable to see him come to class and pack his bags while the rest of his classmates just stared at him in disbelief. I had to hide what I was feeling at that time, and fortunately I was pretty good at it. I’m not sure whether the students saw what my face looked like at that time but I was about ready to cry right then and there, in front of all of them.

It’s funny in a way, because this class was pretty solid and most of them were quite smart. But there was always the one student that I couldn’t save. It’s funny how I cared more about the one that I couldn’t save. And I don’t know why up to this moment I am still deeply troubled by it. Everytime I think about it, I have tears in my eyes.

Yesterday he added me on Facebook and I told him how sorry I was for not being able to help him, and he said, “It’s OK, Ma’am. I am stupid.”

No, you are not. No one is. You are good, but in the real world, being good is simply not enough. There is no place for good people who have to work ten times harder than the rest just because they are slow. There’s no place for effort, no matter how insignificant, to be appreciated. And I feel like I am a part of this cruel world.

I am sorry, I am not your savior. I wish I could be.

Have you read The Devil Wears Prada? It’s a novel written by Lauren Weisberger. When I first read it, I was impressed. It was a brilliant novel portraying the reality of work life from the eye of a naive and idealistic fresh-grad. I could easily relate to it since I’ve had several jobs where I imagined perfect plots to murder my bosses. Imaginary plots, of course.

In the book, the protagonist, Andrea goes through a personal change of character;  when she first starts working, she loathes the job, ridicules the fashion world (she works in a fashion magazine, in the book it is thought to be in the same calibre as Vogue), and she absolutely despises her boss, Miranda Priestly, with passion. It seems as if Miranda exists to make the life of every single person who work for her, including Andrea’s, a living hell.

What amazes me the most is the fact that how rare it is to find a solid, real-honest-to-God good bosses; the one that you can really look up to. Most of the time, we hear people complaining about their bosses; they’re mean, bitchy, unreasonable, selfish, immature, manipulative, unhappy, moody and I’m sure there are many other adjectives that you can think of, based on your own personal experiences with your bosses.

Funny, considering that these bosses used to be in our position, surely they must know how it feels like to be a fresh-grad, to be young, to be working for someone who is so evil, to loathe the person whom you’re working for; so why, oh why, do they end up being the person they used to hate?

It’s like a never-ending cycle.

It makes me think though; do people, somewhere along the way, change, as they move up on their careers? If so, what does? Is it the money? The pressure? The lack of time spent with their family as they get more responsibility heaved on their shoulders? I mean, I can totally relate to that. But can those things really turn a good person into a horrible person that they’d hate themselves if they were in their subordinates’ position?

In The Devil Wears Prada, Andrea eventually learns the ropes of working in a fashion magazine. She improves herself day by day and Miranda the boss starts to appreciate her more, until she trusts Andrea enough to accompany her in the fashion show in Paris, which is a big deal because Andrea gets to sit at the front row seats at the fashion shows and wear couture and gets made up by professional make up artists and most importantly, keeps all the clothes and accessories she wears – which, to people who are passionate about fashion is practically heaven coming true. Unfortunately, Andrea’s love life undergoes a major fall as she spends more time working longer hours, going out and running errands for Miranda, and neglecting her boyfriend and even forgetting his birthday.

I guess Peter Parker’s uncle must be right; Big power comes with big responsibility. Just because you get promoted and get more bonus either in salary or perks, it doesn’t mean that your life gets easier. People think that having a good career and salary must be sweet, but we forget about the things that they have to sacrifice in order to achieve those things; quality time with their loved ones, or children, in which they can never get back, the stress and worry that affect their phisyque (most often than we realize, health problems are caused by stress), the lonely feeling of being on top. I mean, be honest; you don’t exactly look forward to sit at the same table with your boss during lunch time, do you?

In Andrea’s case, the Devil wears Prada. In any other cases, the Devils wear themselves out in reaching for the top and realizing that it is a lonely place.

Wrong. Some are often lost and out-of-focus, and when I do stumble upon these students, I get upset and think that this is their problem, not mine.

A reminder to myself: It’s okay to slow down. Better to spend more time and making sure everyone understand as well as making sure that they read the lessons ahead before they are being discussed, rather than wasting time telling the students off for not listening.

My other weakness is giving instructions – I often forget that different people think differently. Most of the time, because of the time limit and the amount of lessons I have to cover, I belittle the importance of giving actual example of the task in which I want my students to do. I tend to think that verbal instruction is sufficient and that everyone understands – which might work on a Lower Intermediate class, but will definitely fail on an Elementary level class. Even on some cases, I find that giving actual examples by putting myself as a part of the role actually makes a significant amount of difference in both levels.

A reminder to myself: Show them how it’s done exactly so they know exactly what I expect of them. There’s really no other way to do it. This will eliminate students from interpreting things differently and doing unwanted improvisations that again, might result in me getting frustrated for not achieving the target.

To sum it up nicely, my biggest problem when teaching is probably patience. This, I don’t have enough. I don’t like wasting time and I simply can’t afford to; especially when there are twenty students needing my undivided attention and for me to identify each of their strength and weaknesses so I can find out ways to help them. Individually.

I hope I can remind myself to try to put myself in their shoes and think; If I were them, would I hate the teacher? Would I agree with the way she teaches? What could I do better?

Just in case you’re wondering what the heck am I on about, EVOO stands for Extra Virgin Olive Oil.

I know; yummy, right? It’s the stuff you dip your crusty bread into. The stuff you mix into your al dente pasta. Or your salad if you are slimming.

What some of you don’t know – and trust me, it grossed me out the first time I heard it too – is that EVOO could actually replace all the skincare products you’ve been using all your life. It works as a cleanser, make up remover and an all-over excellent moisturizer either for your face or body.

I’ve been using EVOO to replace my usual skincare routine for about a month now and it is safe to say that it gives more benefit than any other expensive skincare that claims to make my skin more beautiful. As some of you already know, I have an oily skin with occasional breakouts. Recently, I’ve developed these tiny pimples that are hard to get rid of. And I’ve tried different skincare after skincare starting from cleanser, moisturizers and toners and none of them does jack shit to my pimples.

Even Himself had suggested stopping the usual skincare routine because I might be allergic to one or some of them. He did have a point though because when the pimples started occuring, I was using this moisturizer and toner from The Face Shop (which claimed to help blemished skin, ironically), BRTC Blemish Recovery BB Cream (again, notice the blemish bit, I WAS obsessed, clearly), and Revlon ColorStay Mineral Foundation.

So I went back to the old Vitamin C Body Shop facial moisturizer and Body Shop Mineral Powder Foundation. I did notice improvement but the one thing I was concerned was that I did put on make up at work too and I was worried I might not have been cleaning my face properly, which might cause the pimples developing on my face!

Then I noticed someone in FemaleDaily.com forum mentioned something about OCM (Oil Cleansing Method). She said she never used facial cleansers, just oil. I was like, “Whaaat? My face is oily as it is, thank you very much!”

She said she used EVOO mixed with Castor Oil and it helped remove make up so much better than any other make up remover there is on the market. Now I’ve noticed that oil make up remover is quite in now, since Shu Uemura produced theirs.

So I started gathering information from Google and stumbled upon many sites claiming the benefits of using EVOO to remove make up as well as being used as a skincare in here, here and here. There are tons of other sites claiming EVOO as a great skincare product to use, just Google it!

So what the heck, I’d give it a try, right? As much as it grossed me putting more oil onto my already oily face.  I went to the supermarket, bought a bottle of Filippo’s EVOO, mixed it with a bit of Lavender Oil and put it in this special bottle that comes with a pump. I used Lavender oil because I couldn’t find Castor oil anywhere. If you know, let me know where, because I really want to get one!

At first I applied the oil on a cotton pad and just used it to remove my eye make up and clean my face – no water. But then I worried about the waste – imagine using so many cotton pads everyday! So I opted for just applying the oil straight to my face, while it was dry and all, massage it a bit and just wash with whatever facial cleanser I have.

Amazing results – it helped clear my skin and remove the stupid freaking whiteheads I’d been so desperately trying to unplug from my pores! Sometimes I mix a bit of baking soda with EVOO and use it as a face mask and it practically clears and take out all the whiteheads, you can actually see them coming out, which you can just remove using a hot damp towel.

Not only that EVOO is an all-purpose skincare product, it is 100% natural and does not contain any preservatives nor chemicals that might damage your skin in the long run. Imagine all those products you’ve been using; some of the ingredients you can’t even read because they’re so freaking long! You know what I mean, stuff like methylizoparabeneoylinone… like, seriously?!

I’m so glad I’ve started using EVOO now – I’m doing my skin a favor by saving it from the torture of being sucked into the beauty industry – most of the skincare that promise beauty are all marketing gimmicks anyway!

• There must be some people out there naive enough to swallow every single thing I write without questioning it nor wondering about it. Hey, if it works for religions, why not?
• This will be a great tag post as the blogging world seems to have gone a bit slack (including yours truly), I’m hoping this post is going to get everyone up and running again.

So here we go:

Stop watching local TV nor read local newspaper. This will only depress the hell out of you. Subscribe to TV cable instead. Life’s sunnier that way, even if it’s rose-tinted and far from reality.

Giving money to beggars is not going to make a lot of difference. Well, the only difference is that there will be more beggars out there, since the one beggar who you give money to, has probably gone to his/her friends and tell them about this one awesomely rich person who seems to shit money from his/her ass, and is kind enough to give it to others – for free! I would rather give my money to animal shelters than beggars anyway. Because human can still help themselves, but animals can’t.

Except for cockroaches. Feel free to eradicate them anytime, anywhere. They’re the only creature that can survive nuclear wars. Them and Cher.

“Never judge a book by its cover” – whoever invent this saying is a patent liar. Because as far as I know, life on earth is all about appearance. So ladies and gentlemen, prettify yourself as much as you can. Start by putting on make up, wear better clothes, Photoshop yourself  until people no longer recognize you anymore; really, whatever it takes!

Stop buying fashion magazines at once. Why? Look at previous point and scan for the word “Photoshop”.

To single ladies out there: if your man doesn’t marry you within at least 5 years, dump him. Dump him immediately. It means he’s just not that into you. 5 years is too long anyway. No excuses really. If he really wants to be with you, he’d do anything to make that happen! Except if he: hasn’t got a job/is a junkie/lives with and off his parents, then you should dump him instead.

Second single ladies advice: Don’t be desperate. It’s a turn-off. Trust me, I’ve been there. And the more desperate you get, the worse choice you will have on men. I know I’ve dated some men bad enough that if I met them now, I would shudder and run for my life.

Third single ladies advice: Be honest. Be yourself. If you’re a bitch, then be a bitch. If he doesn’t like it then he’s not for you. It saves time and money to just get it all out in the open. No pretenses.

If you’re engaged to the love of your life and is planning to get married, do it exactly the way you want it to be, but don’t let anyone pay for it, not even your parents. Once you let them in, they’re gonna start running your whole life. And you will always remember your Wedding day as the worst, most exhausting day of your life, instead of your happiest. And it’ll only get worse. Can’t afford to pay for your own wedding? Save up!

Race, as politically incorrect as it is, is an important part of living in Indonesia – heck, even in most parts of the world. Wherever you are, whoever you are, people are going to wonder where you come from and what ethnic you belong to. And they are not going to stop until they get to the bottom of it.

It’s okay to watch crazy, stupid, fucked up shows like Jerseylicious or Jerry Springer, but only when you’re sick and can’t do anything but lie in bed and watch TV. Trust me, those shows will make you feel better about yourself.

Money is just a medium – earn it, use, utilize it, but don’t get too obsessed with it, or before you know it, you’re a slave to it.

Friends come and go, but dogs stay forever. At least when you train them well, anyway.

Men, though. They’re not so different to dogs. But just make sure you don’t tell this on to my husband.

Speaking about men; bad boys are called bad because they are bad. They make you go all horny and lusty and in the end you will get pregnant and he will ditch you. What you really need to find is a bad boy hidden underneath the exterior of a geeky, nice boy.

Another thing about men; you do realize they don’t change, right? So if you meet a man and immediately feel an intense urge to change him; either his looks, habits or personality, just forget about it. He will change if he wants to. You can’t do it for him and telling him to either choose between you or whatever it is that you want him to change from, is only going to make him feel resentful.

Everybody has an agenda. Even if they look as if they’ve got nothing to hide. So don’t be too naive. And don’t believe anything I’ve said in this blog either.

Alright! Now that I’m done confusing the heck out of you, it’s time to tag some people:

Rima, because I can’t wait for her Guide of Life, which I’m sure will be ten times more interesting and entertaining than mine!

Parvita, because she’s a fun, fearless female Janda Kaya!

Ivy, because she’s gorgeous, so kawaii, and sexy mother of two who never takes life too seriously but surprises me every now and then with her quirkiness,

Maureen, because she’s a lovely mother and a strong woman who inspires many female bloggers in the world!

Anita, because her posts will keep you interested and keep coming back for more. You don’t believe it? Just visit her blog!

Cn, because she’s feisty and I love her!

Wiwin, because she’s the only one who can get away from liking Britney so much… no, I’m kidding. She’s creative, talented and charming. And did I tell you she’s a huge fan of Britney?