Seorang anak kecil berlari-lari di rumahnya dan menabrak meja, kemudian jatuh dan menangis meraung-raung kesakitan karena dengkulnya memar.
Mami: “Aduhhh…dede…kenapa? Sakit ya?”

Anak: “Huuu…hiiyaa…uu…atttitttt…”

Mami: “Dududuhhh…kacian….atit ya…nakal yaaa mejanyaaa?”

Anak: (bingung tapi mendingan diam daripada disalahin)”Iyaa…mejanya nakaalll..”

Mami: “Pukul ya mejanya!!” (pukul meja) “Mejanya nakall ya…puukul yaaa” (pukul meja lagi)

Anak: (Senang) “Iyaa pukul aja mii…nakal mejanyaa…”

Si anak kemudian lupa dengan rasa sakit di dengkulnya kemudian meneruskan lari-larinya sekeliling rumah. Si mami lega karena anaknya sudah tidak menangis lagi – berisik soalnya. Kemudian, ketika hal yang sama terjadi lagi, si mami pun kembali memukul dan menyalahkan semua benda yang ada di rumahnya, kecuali anaknya sendiri.

Sang anak pun tumbuh dewasa menjadi manusia egois yang selalu menyalahkan orang lain atas kesalahan yang dibuat oleh dirinya sendiri, karena itulah yang diajarkan oleh orang-tuanya semenjak kecil.

Kejadian II.

Sang anak yang baru lulus SMA tidak kepingin kuliah dan sebaliknya ingin langsung kerja saja. Orang-tua pun mencak-mencak dan ngamuk-ngamuk.

Papi: “Pokoknya kamu harus kuliah! Nggak bisa nggak!”

Anak: “Aduh papi… Otong mendingan langsung kerja aja, biar bisa nyari duit… Otong pengin lebih mandiri…lagian kuliah itu mahal, sayang duitnya…Otong ama temen-temen udah mulai bikin kaos-kaosan di distro, hasilnya lumayan kok…”

Papi: “Papi ga peduli!! Anak papi harus punya gelar!! Nggak bisa nggak!”

Anak: “Duh papi..kuliah di Indo tuh susah…temen-temen Otong aja yang udah kuliah ampe delapan tahun kagak lulus-lulus… mendingan Otong langsung kerja aja..biar papi juga tenang..kan Otong udah bisa cari duit sendiri..”

Papi: “Apa nanti kata orang kalau tau anak papi cuma lulusan SMA??? Emangnya kamu kira gampang cari kerja cuma dengan ijazah SMA?? Pake tuh otak!! Pokoknya enggak, sekali lagi NGGAK!!!”

Sang anak pun akhirnya menuruti keinginan papinya dengan setengah hati, mengambil kuliah jurusan umum yang diambil orang-orang lain (Akuntansi / Manajemen) dan karena memang tidak suka dan tidak kepingin, akhirnya banyak mata pelajaran yang tidak lulus, dan ini membuat si papi semakin berang dan marah, sehingga sang anak makin kehilangan semangat belajarnya.

Sang anak sering mengambil cuti kuliah karena ia lebih suka konsentrasi ke bisnis distro nya. Dan ini makin membuat si papi uring-uringan karena sudah lima tahun Otong belum lulus-lulus juga. Akhirnya setelah di-push, di paksa dan disodok-sodok (pakai sapu hihihi), Otong pun lulus, namun hal itu memakan waktu delapan tahun serta biaya kuliah yang habis terpakai, dan semua itu dikarenakan keinginan egois sang papi yang menginginkan dan ingin membanggakan anaknya untuk punya gelar, tidak peduli bahwa anaknya sudah bisa menentukan jalan hidupnya sendiri, tanpa embel-embel gelar sarjana.

Kejadian III

Orang-tua menawarkan anaknya kuliah di luar negri, dan sang anak dengan senang hati pun menyetujui. Ketika sang anak lulus dengan hasil gemilang, orang-tuanya menyuruh si anak pulang dan karena ingin menunjukkan baktinya, sang anak pun pulang untuk menyenangkan hati orang-tuanya.

Papi: “Nul, kamu kan udah lulus nih sekarang… kamu terusin bisnis papi ya…papi udah tua nih, bentar lagi mau pensiun, sayang kan usaha papi nanti kalau nggak ada yang nerusin…”

Anak: “Tapi pi..Inul mau jadi tukang salon… waktu kuliah di Kanada, Inul sadar kalau Inul punya bakat di bidang kecantikan…temen-temen Inul demen banget didandanin ama Inul…makanya Inul pikir pulang ke Indo, buka salon, pasti laku…tiga bulan, udah balik modal koq!”

Papi: “Buka salon???????????” (pura-pura kena stroke dan menghempaskan tubuh di bangku malas sambil megap-megap)

Mami: “Nulll, Inulll…. kalau mau buka salon mah ngapain kita nguliahin kamu sampai ke ujung dunia segala, udah aja kamu tetep di Indo, magang kerja ama Tante Meike sana…Null Inulll…kamu anak mami dan papi satu-satunya, bisnis toko elektronik papimu itu udah gede banget, cabangnya aja ada dimana-mana, kamu udah enak, tinggal duduk doang, ngapain kamu mau cape-cape mulai buka usaha sendiri, padahal kamu tinggal nerusin yang udah ada??”

Anak: “Tapi Mi…hati Inul bukan di toko elektronik…hati Inul ada di salon Mi…kayaknya ini emang udah bakat yang dikasih Tuhan buat Inul… masa Inul mau nyuekin bakat Inul..”

Papi: (masih megap-megap, tapi karena marah) “Nul… kamu kok tega sih? Papi udah ngabisin duit beratus-ratus juta buat kamu sekolah di Kanada, sekarang cuma disuruh nerusin usaha papi aja kamu kagak mau????”

Akhirnya sang anak menyetujui titah orang tuanya untuk meneruskan usaha toko elektronik milik keluarga. Namun hal ini dilakukan dengan setengah hati, dan tidak dengan perasaan bahagia. Setiap hari sang anak memimpikan mempunyai usaha di bidang yang ia inginkan, namun impian itu kandas di tengah jalan dan ia hanya bisa menunggu hingga orang tuanya sudah tiada agar ia bisa mewujudkan cita-citanya tersebut, karena baru menyebut kata “salon” saja orang-tuanya sudah mendelik.

Namun saat waktu itu tiba, umur sang anak sudah tidak produktif, kreatifitas dan semangatnya untuk memulai usahanya sendiripun sudah hilang dimakan waktu, disebabkan rasa bersalah yang terus-menerus ditekankan oleh orang tuanya.

a) It’s the natural thing to do. After marriage, comes children

b) My parents are itching to hold their first newborn grandchild

c) I’d like to have a miniature version of me

d) God has told me to go forth and multiply

e) All my friends already have three kids and I feel left behind

f) It will make our love stronger

g) I want to have babies because they’re so cute

h) I want to make the world a better place

Then you should really rethink, because,

a) It’s irrelevant to say something is natural without knowing why it is. You can’t just flap around, insisting “Because, because it is!” in a manner of a parrot.

b) Do you live your live for your parents or for yourself? If your folks are so lonely, get them a Golden Retriever or enroll them to the local bingo games.

c) Selfish reason to have a miniature version of yourself, why not just wait until cloning is legal?

d) Stop living in the Old Testament era. Mother Nature actually pleads mankind to stop overpopulating the world – why else do you think there are so many natural disasters happening?

e) So you have no mind of your own and you just do whatever it is that other people are doing. Charming.

f) Do you have a dog? No? Then get one and see what happens. If your husband can’t be bothered to take the dog out early in the morning, chance is he won’t be bothered to change the diapers at three o’clock in the morning either. Stop thinking that he will turn into Ross – that wimpy guy from Friends.

g) Cute? Err…they do grow up you know? And by the time they are thirteen and screaming ‘I-hate-you’s to your face, don’t even lie and say that you don’t regret having them. All parents say they don’t but they act otherwise.

h) If you want to make this world to be a better place, start from yourself first and see how that goes.

Wait a minute.

Two nannies? For one child? Jayzuz, woman. I know you are rich, but two nannies? Come on. What, do you need one for feeding and the other one to clean up all the mess afterwards? And what do you do when those two girls are busy taking care of your child? Just stand there looking good and relieved for not having baby puke all over your Marc Jacobs?

Whatever happened to good parenting? How can these people think that it’s okay to give birth and hand over the responsibility to someone else(s)? And don’t give me that crap about the pain of labor – they all have Caesarean. I just know it. If they can’t even take the responsibility to look after their own offspring, I doubt they can actually bear the pain of delivering their child the natural way.

I’ve been noticing this Nanny Thing everywhere I go. Mostly in huge luxury shopping malls, where the mother will be engrossed flicking through hangers after hangers of clothes while the nanny is busy struggling to wipe melted ice-cream from the toddler’s chin. And you’d be surprised to know that there are children as old as ten who are still accompanied by their nannies.

When I was ten, I was perfectly able to wash my own hands – and chin – in the sink. When I was thirteen, I knew how to wash, iron and fold my own clothes. My mammy taught me well. I remember how she used to put the guilt on me whenever I did something not to her liking, in which she would say something like, “How could you do this to your poor mother? I gave you the gift of life! I raised you since you were a baby, with my own bare hands! I fed you and took care of you, woke up in the middle of the nights for you and having puked up and pooped all over, and this is how you repay me?”

Understandably but quite annoyingly, mothers have the rights to say those things, because they sacrificed so much for us. That’s why we are more prone to guilt on mothers, because they are the ones who spend the most time with us since we were born. While our fathers generally would be the breadwinner, the mothers were the ones waking up at one, three and four in the evening, feeding us, singing lullabies for us and be the last face we saw when we went to sleep.

But now all those roles are simply replaced by the presence of nannies – of whom unfortunately the child would feel more secure with, and thus come the worrying feeling of the mothers that they are unrecognizable to their own children because of the lack of time they are willing to spend.

I’ve seen it happen. I even have friends who expressed the very same fear to me. Therefore, I am thoroughly unsurprised to find that these children will, in the future, grow up to be selfish, spoilt brat who thinks that the world owes them something. Why? Because they are raised with the notion that must have everything they want, which is evident by the parents who, in making up their lack of time spending with their children, alternate to lavishing them with junks that cost more than the monthly salary of an average nanny.

Thinking back on the daughter and the parents with the two nannies I saw at the bookstore, I can just imagine the future daily conversation that this mother and daughter will have;

“Annabelle, finish your meal, dear.”

“No, it’s foul. I hate Brussels sprouts. I’ve told you that, like, a gazillion times (sneering).”

“(Bored and slightly pissed off) Behave. Now finish your meal and do your homework.”

“No! Just leave me alone! (Cutlery clatters)”

“(gasp and enraged with pre-menopausal hormones) How dare you speak like that to me??? I. Am. Your. Mother! I raised you since you were a child. I fed you-No. Wait a minute. I didn’t. Your nanny fed you. Well, I cleaned up all your messes since you were in diapers-No. (Faltering) Actually, I didn’t. Ok. This conversation never happens.”

Saat saya sedang tenggelam dalam diskusi panjang bersama si dia, datanglah seorang ibu-ibu bertubuh besar montok bersama anak lelakinya yang berusia sekitar empat tahun, sambil menenteng tas-tas belanjaan dan menempati salah satu meja di dekat meja kami seraya secara bersamaan mengeluarkan suara-suara berisik untuk menenangkan anaknya yang melompat-lompat seperti anak anjing yang baru dilepas dari talinya. Tadinya saya kira dia ngga bawa suaminya, tapi ternyata tak lama kemudian muncullah seorang bapak-bapak yang badannya tak kalah gede nya, sementara anaknya pada saat itu sudah berlari-larian keliling restoran dan balik lagi.

Kelakuan si anak yang melanglang buana mengelilingi area restoran tidak sebegitu mengganggunya dibandingkan dengan kenyataan bahwa orang tua-nya ternyata lebih sibuk makan dan sama sekali tidak peduli bahwa anaknya itu bisa sebentar muncul kemudian sebentar hilang.

Berhubung sedang marak-maraknya aksi penculikan anak di Jakarta, saya heran dengan tingkah laku sepasang orang tua yang saya saksikan tadi, yang sama sekali tidak menunjukkan keinginan mereka untuk menjaga anak mereka – yang kemungkinan semata wayang – dari tangan-tangan para penculik anak. Pastinya mereka juga menonton televisi atau membaca koran, karena sudah banyak para orang tua yang jadi korban diperas habis-habisan hingga ratusan juta untuk menebus anaknya. Apalagi setelah membaca berita terakhir di koran mengenai seorang anak yang hilang selama dua tahun akhirnya ditemukan kembali dan selama ini dia disuruh jadi pengemis di jalanan.

Saya menduga mungkin karena lagi bulan puasa, mereka berpikir pasti para penculik anak itu sedang pada istirahat dan bertobat, maka itulah mereka santai-santai saja nyumpelin muka mereka dengan makanan tanpa mempedulikan perut dan keamanan anaknya sendiri. Padahal dari pengalaman saya yang sudah-sudah, justru di bulan-bulan seperti inilah yang namanya kriminalitas meningkat pesat, kalo nggak, nanti pas pulang kampung bisa diketawain karena nggak bawa duit. Kriminal kan, mudik juga.

Saya jadi berpikir bahwa kasus penculikan anak yang sudah sering terjadi bukan karena anaknya polos dan gampang dibujuk atau baby-sitter nya ngawur dan tidak becus menjaga anak, tapi dikarenakan orang tuanya sendiri yang cuek bebek dan tidak punya keinginan kuat memproteksi anak-anaknya. Kadang saya sendiri suka geli kalau melihat ada ibu-ibu yang lagi ‘ngomelin’ anaknya di depan orang banyak dan saking kesalnya sampai ngumpat-ngumpat dengan kata-kata yang sebenarnya tidak layak digunakan untuk anak kecil, atau yang tampangnya pada kecapean gara-gara anaknya ngga bisa diam minta dibelikan ini dan itu dan juga ngga bisa ngomelin si anak karena takut dibilang pelit atau ngga punya duit sama orang-orang di sekeliling. Sepertinya jauh di lubuk hati mereka seakan menggerutu, “Tau gini mendingan ngga usah bikin.”

Yah, saya sih tidak heran. Mendengar tante saya yang sudah beranak dua dan suaminya yang sekarang gemuk dan berperut buncit seringkali berkata kepada saya seraya sibuk bikin susu buat anaknya yang paling kecil, “…enakan dulu, waktu masih ngejomblo, mau ngapain aja terserah kita…” kemudian di lain waktu saya bertanya kenapa juga punya anak kalau merepotkan dan dia berkilah, “Yah, kalau ngga gitu, hidup kita ngga akan berwarna …”, sehingga membuat saya ragu kalau-kalau menjadi orang tua itu tidak seindah yang digembar-gemborkan orang-orang.

Mungkin mereka-mereka yang sudah berbuntut mau menyesal pun tidak bisa, karena sudah mbrojol duluan, dan ada disitu, ya mau diapain lagi kalau ngga digedein?

Saya hanya bisa berharap agar sehabis itu mereka tidak melanjutkan dengan berkata: “Sukur-sukur diculik, biar gue ngga usah ngurusin lagi …”

It didn’t affect us much until it became a lot more frequent, and bothered us from enjoying our dinner. It was quite tiring, really, flagging our hands off every now and then whenever one of them came to our table and started murmuring something in a pleading voice.

The whole thing might sound cruel and inhumane, considering that our conditions were a lot more fortunate than them, and of course they didn’t choose to be born to beg. But I couldn’t help wondering that perhaps they did it because their parents told them to. When I saw them I wondered where their parents were and I was amazed that they’d let their children roam the streets at night, begging for money from one venue to another. And then it clicked me that the parents were probably sitting comfortably at home, thinking that their kids were the one working their ass off to feed the family.

I told my boyfriend about it, and he agreed, and then goes, “Roughly said, some parents invest in their children the same way they invest money in a property or a business, and they give no options for the children’s own freewill to choose their own paths. They probably don’t realize it, but it’s a crime itself to think that that’s what having children is about.”

Right away I thought about those rich upper-class families who send their children abroad to study business management, e-commerce and the likes just so that the children could expand the family business and triple the profits for the next seventh generations to come. I’ve known some of these children who were in dilemmas – they have their own dreams to pursue, dreams that collide with their parents’ wishes.

It struck me hard to think that these rich parents were no different than those who let their children became beggars in the evenings. The purpose was none other but the same – so that the children are the ones making the money, not them.

“I wonder what the hell were these people thinking when they were having children. Did they just did it and hope for the best or were they not thinking at all?” I said to my boyfriend.

His reply, “I don’t think they have a single clue let alone realise the responsibility of having children. Most people do it because they think it’s the next step to do after they get married. I’ve talked to those who had children, and they said that life was not the same if you never experienced being a parent, and yet they complained about taking care of their own children. It’s funny how they say one thing that contradicts the other. They go around telling people to go have children because it’s great and yet they don’t want to take care of their own – I mean, look at these kids. I’m sure they’re let to beg the streets because their parents didn’t want to take care of them.”

Just the other day, as I was helping out my boyfriend moving out from his old boarding house, I saw a cat giving birth, right in front of the fence, and all the kittens were dead when they came out.

I thought how odd it was that cats breed all the time, uncontrollably, and yet they contribute nothing to the environment. They just exist and multiply but fail to have any sort of purpose or means. Just like how it is with human. They go forth and multiply, and yet their existence causes nothing but to waste more oxygen. All they know is that they have to have children, fill this already over-crowded earth, hoping that these kids would grow up finding their own ways and washing their hands off from the responsibility of parenting.

Besides, there’s always destiny or the society to blame when things go wrong.